I have just received this beautiful hand written letter of thanks from a recent client. We originally met when they hired me for a Hypno For Birth class after the class had finished I received an email asking - Would you be our Doula? There is still something very special about being asked to be someone's Doula and after 70+ births attended I still feel a huge sense of joy, fear, excitement and anticipation.

Dear Bethany

I wanted to say a very big thank you for being the doula at our birth of Abigail Scarlett. I didn't know how beautiful and non-interventional (sic) Intervention free labour could be. Abigail's birth healed all the unknown hurts and scars of my first labour of Harrison. My fears of theatre and medical intervention have been laid to rest. In my heart i honestly believed that your role was to support Shane in the after birth, however, it was I who needed you. For all that you did and the preparation that went into it especially around designing our birth plan. And empowering Shane to feel included in the process from start to end.

We are all very grateful for the photos especially the plac

enta it's amazing! I have never seen one and i am so glad I have those photos to cherish. Thank you for all the photos you took in those first few blurry hours. That first shower was divine and was definitely not something I could have managed alone - thank you.

I am truly grateful and cannot put into words how thankful I am that we had you as our doula. I will be recommending you to my fertility patients as you really are a special person. Thank you again

Lana Van ray

I ask the question; What's the rush?

Why are we speeding birth along? Is it better, more 'productive', necessary to decrease the length of labour, for a possible trade off that may increase the intensity?

If asked. "Would you prefer a shorter more intense labour or a longer more gentle one?" Which would you prefer... what would you choose?

As a doula I often hear. "If we rupture your membranes we'll make labour more efficient"

"You'll meet your baby sooner if we quickly break your bag of waters"

"You've been labouring a while now if we break your waters it'll speed things along"

"I can feel your bulging membranes with lots of pressure, it'll release if I quickly break your waters"

Sure sometimes intervention really does bring baby down and hey presto there's your baby in your arms, job done!

Sometimes it doesn't.

However, was ARM (artificial rupture of membranes) really necessary - or worth it? Was the power of a woman following her body taken away in that very act?

Does she now feel uncertainty in her body's ability to birth her baby naturally? Is her internal head chatter now in overdrive asking a million fear based questions taking her focus away from her body that is still desperately trying to respond to the intensity and power of labour?

I wonder how often the rush gets in the way of birth happening in its own perfect order like this one....

Here's the last moments of an uninterrupted birth - no rush, no hurry no pressure on mum to do anything other that follow her body. Her waters burst in the seconds prior to her baby slipping out of her body. No VE (vaginal exams), no questions no panic. This birth was all about supporting mum as she instinctively responded to the changes to her body. She had a longer labour this time, lots of back labour and she gravitated towards the shower for its duration to help relieve the intensity. She was loved and held and kissed by her husband, she had her favourite music playing in the small confines of the shower. She had privacy, intimacy, support. She felt loved, supported and safe, She confidently followed her body and birthed her baby her way!

Rupture of waters can happen a few days before labour begins, during labour, during pushing or remain intact after birth. When labour moves at its own natural pace women are more likely to remain in control of their bodies, ride the flow of labour and move with it. When too many questions are asked or interventions performed doubt sets in and a woman's confidence can be lost.

When women are supported their confidence grows, when women are educated about normal birth their confidence grows, when women seek and find privacy and intimacy during their labours, their confidence grows.

Ultimately a woman has a greater ability to drop into her body and respond to the sensations of labour and achieve a normal natural birth. She takes those all important steps into motherhood with a sense of power, confidence, and an intact inner voice leading her through the next phase in her life with more clarity and connection.

I cried today..... Here I was standing in my kitchen having just cooked Sunday breakfast for my family and the doorbell chimes. There's a friendly face at the door with a $20 note in her hand. She takes one look at me and tilts her head to the side - she knows what I'm thinking, "Oh it's ok... it'll be well loved again" And with a few simple instructions of how to collapse it and how to attach the seated bike, off it went. Our stroller. My babies stroller. The one I'd placed on our local buy swap sell site thinking "it's really time I got rid of this". The one my parents bought for our "you're having a baby present". My mountain buggy swift.

But now I'm sad ... really sad, really big fat tears are still rolling down my cheeks

Saving the stroller for as long as I have (my 'baby' is now 5) was my little way of thinking, maybe we'll have a whoops sorry hubby I'm pregnant again moment. .... we didn't.

I don't know if that's why I'm so sad. Do I really want another baby? Is it because I'm 6 months away from turning 40 and my Mum was right?? I remember her saying that when I was about to turn 40 I'd probably question if I wanted more children... and here I sit tears falling ...maybe I'm crying because I'm hormonal (its always hormones right...?) Do I want to have that exited moment of finding out I'm pregnant again? - Absolutely yes! Would I like to be pregnant again, hum maybe? Do I want to give birth again haha Yes! .....the sleepless nights, the breastfeeding, the stretch marks, the hugs, the soft cheek kisses, the tiny feet, the overwhelming love, the smell... oh man it's the best!

I remember waking behind that stroller with my baby sleeping inside thinking I had done the most miraculous thing - I was a mum, I really was pushing my stroller with my baby in it! I felt so special. I loved it when Talia arrived and she didn't want to go in the stroller preferring to be asleep (or awake) on my chest in my ring sling. Kamryn would be sitting up smiling away in the stroller, or on the little bike attached to it. So many comments of how cute they were, how lucky I was. The knowing looks from old ladies - silently saying "what a precious time this really is, enjoy it sweetheart"

It's a combination of so many things, it signified the first of so many things, the first trip to the shops with my precious cargo. Getting on a train - Oh gosh I remember that well I was terrified that the wheel would get stuck between the train and the platform. It didn't. I remember going for dinner with my in-laws and holding Kamryn in my arms too frightened to put her in the stroller she was only days old ( I have no idea why on earth we were going out for dinner - bloody bonkers!!)

I'm sad because it was my life line. I walked my girls in it for YEARS!! The first few years of being a mum I was out walking everyday doing the big lap of Altona I'd walk the morning, the afternoon - for every nap (well the ones where she wasn't asleep on me, Oh I loved those too... shit more tears!) On dark nights struggling to get Talia to sleep my Husband and I would take turns walking the streets at 11pm desperately trying to get her to fall asleep (you see nothing else would work when she was about 16mths old), but it was nice, frustrating yes, but a passage in time that I thought would never end...and yet here we are.

But, I don't think I want more, I just want to go back for a minute, for a day to really see it for what it is. To breathe it all in again. To be truly present.

My girls are still little, I know that when they're teenagers I'll look back at this phase of my life thinking, oh it was so good. And it is they're still so little really, their cheeks still soft, their feet still small, the kisses the love the cuddles the sleepless nights (yup occasionally) The love for them is still overwhelming. I'm breathing it all in.

Bye bye old stroller - thanks for the memories

How a Doula Positively Impacts the Birth Space

Written by Bethany Meakin (www.bellybeans.com.au)

I have been fortunate enough to support women to labour and birth at home, in hospital, support siblings during home birth, prepare couples for Caesarean Section and draw upon my personal experience of birthing my 2 daughters. I’ve supported 1st time mums and those preparing for their 3rd birth experiences, I do not label myself as an expert doula – nor do I have the most births under my belt but I can honestly say each birth, labour, baby and couple I have supported are different. As each and every birthing woman’s needs, personalities, fears, bodies, minds, beliefs, emotions, family dynamic’s and journey from preconception through to motherhood are different!

It’s actually quite difficult to articulate the specifics of what doula’s do, how we positively impact the space for one mum will be different to the next but it is this ability to connect with each individual and support her in the way she needs to be supported in that exact moment that is the ‘art form’. Does she need hands off and utter silence for the next 4 hours or does she require your voice and touch at the exact moment throughout the rollercoaster ride can be labour and birth? How do you put into words ‘holding the space?’ or describe the intense feelings you have when you’re supported in such a deeply connected way?

Well let me try…. If you’re not familiar with therole of a Doula, simply put we’re a trained support person you hire privately to emotionally prepare yourself and your partner(s) for your pregnancy, labour and birth journey

As a Doula

We work in harmony with your midwives and other health professionals. We and do not offer any medical advice nor are we responsible for the any medical processes.

We’re wholeheartedly there for your emotional support and wellbeing and will advocate your birth choices.

We help you navigate your way through the hospital system (if choosing a hospital birth) We offer and arm you and your partner with a plethora of non-medical pain relief techniques

We offer emotional support, encouragement, options and personal reflection when things don't go according to plan.

We can also be a great sounding board prior to, during and post birth

Time to focus….Meeting with your Doula is dedicated time that you and your partner set aside to actively prepare yourselves for the birth you want ( a perfect time for you to have each other’s absolute attention and focus)

A doula is your constant. She arrives when you need her and remains with you until the birth of your baby

So you’re pregnant…and perhaps you’re feeling a little overwhelmed by the choices that lay ahead hospital or home birth, what books to read, what classes to take, what workshops to attend… the list goes on...Maybe you’re nervous about the labour itself or your partner is nervous about how he or she will effectively support you on the day. Do you worry about the pain of giving birth? Is your partner confident about providing effective comfort and support in labour? Do you trust in your partner’s ability to support you? Are you unsure about how to go about making an informed choice about your health? Do you know what you’d do if your birth wasn’t progressing as you thought it would? Have you hear horror stories and just cannot get them out of your mind? Or perhaps you’re feeling great, but have a little niggling sense of self-doubt in your abilities. Or maybe you really do have a great confidence in yourself, and simply want to have someone you know support you on the day – a familiar trusted face. Perhaps a Doula can help!?

A Doulaoffers one to one continuous care to you and your partner during your pregnancy and helps to prepare you for your labour and birth with a focus on a gentle and supported transition into parenthood. Most doula’s will work with you (and your partner) in your home leading up to the birth and work through a plethora of natural pain relief techniques, including breathing techniques, relaxation techniques, labour positions etc., She will have the ability to answer your many questions that you have perhaps forgotten to ask during your appointments with your other care providers. And always remind you of when a question is best asked by a medical professional remaining within the scope of the role of a Doula.

She will explore your birthing preferences and advocate these for you, and she will sit with you and your partner and listen to your needs, desires, fears and concerns. She will understand the smallest of details with previous births. She will help you navigate your way through the birth journey with an in-depth knowledge of you, your partner and all of the specific little stories you have shared together. She will remain with you for the entire length of your labour and birth. She will keep eye contact with you when the rest of the room perhaps leaves your eyes to focus on the crowning baby. “I held a woman forehead to forehead as she roared out her baby it was where she needed me to be. I also locked eyes with my Doula during my second labour as the rapid birth had taken me by surprise and I was not in the position I had imagined for myself, yet her familiar eyes was all I needed to trust that I could do this exactly where I was”.

Taking the time to get to know you:

She will perhaps know about how you met or a favourite holiday and be able use these happy times as a source of distraction or re-focus during labour. She takes the time to really understand you as a person and does her best to support all of your needs during labour and birth. Simply put she holds the space, she keeps the tempo up when needed or reminds new arrivals into the birthing space that this is a time for quiet and not a time for weekend catch ups, in the most direct yet polite and respectful way. ”Oh what a skill this is at times”! She holds the space during the transition from home to hospital – placing a tea light candle on the back parcel shelf for you to connect with or remembering to place a drop sheet in the car so you can focus on labouring and not be concerned with bodily fluids.

She sits awkwardly in the car with you and maintains a level of calm and focus that is needed for one of the most stressful times for mums and partners. In many cases the birthing woman’s partner needs just as much emotional support during labour as the woman herself and a familiar face for the partner to check in with throughout times of stress or uncertainty is incredibly valuable. I call it eyeballing. The dad’s or partners will often remain silent but constantly eyeball me to check in that the situation is ok, under control or ‘normal’.

And the more a doula gets to know your partner the more comfortable he/she will feel. As sadly all too commonly our busy lives get in the way of really preparing for one of the most important days in your life – the birth of your baby, the birth of you as a mother. It’s vitally important to involve your partner in as many of the sessions as possible with your doula. You’ll go shopping for a stroller together, choose the cot together, so why not take the time to prepare for the birth together?

When the doula relationship is built with the partner as strongly as the mother magic happens, partners have the confidence and comfort levels needed to feel their babies head crowning (if they want) – to be the first one to touch their babies naked head to feel the little hairs upon the head – oh what a moment! To be intimate, kiss, cuddle, touch, hold each other remembering that babies are made during intimacy and love and should and can be born in intimacy and love.

So, just recently I was with a couple in their home running through my bag of pain relief techniques, we walked around their home looking at places and ways to adopt positions of comfort during their labour while at home, we looked at areas in the home that would give relaxation, or inspiration. We practised many different labour positons and walked the length of the hall way, lent on bench spaces, gazed out of windows and shared stories together. Stories of holidays that could be drawn upon as a method of visualisation during labour and we simply talked to each other building our relationship and building trust. Both Mum and Dad were building a positive picture of what their labour and birth day would look like and with many hours together their trust in their own abilities and knowledge of what they do and don’t want to happen when the time comes is becoming clearer to them – I am sure that all of the preparation they are doing together as a couple will enable them to have the birth they desire and be calm and prepared for if an event changes course...As your Doula gets to know you in pregnancy she will have a good understanding of your emotional stability and be in a good position to seek out alternative specialised help for you postatnally if needed. Either she will be there to support you with breastfeeding or know when it is time to seek out the support of a lactation consultant for example.

My experience of having a Doula

As a mum I enlisted the support of a Doula (Kahmen Ceh ) both my husband and I believe it was one of the best decisions we made in the quest for our daughters natural births. I had little understanding during the first labour of what our doula was doing as I was so deeply zoned out – (or zoned in!) and upon reflection I put this deep zoning out down to the preparation with my doula during our sessions together, we got to know each other, she knew me and my husband and I trusted that she would look out for me during labour. She would protect my birth space and she would adhere to our birth plan.

During my second labour I absolutely knew what she was doing, I had a very quick labour and was taken somewhat by surprise compared to my first experience and she held me though this intense time. She also supported my husband as all eyes were off him on me so he had his someone to lock eyes with when the intensity peeked. Stories of how a Doula can helpI have spoken with some other women recently on how they felt a Doula impacted their birthing space and these are some of their words; Words from a new mum “As first time parents the thought of entering this ‘unknown territory’ of birth can easily rattle the strongest intentions; however our doula’s confidence and support every step of the way was so special and integral in building our own confidence too.Her tireless support of us both as my labour progressed was simply amazing – even better than I had imagined! We truly believe that we would have been in the hospital much sooner and quite possibly finding ourselves following a path of interventions we were hoping to avoid had it just been the two of us. During my labour we both agreed that it felt like we were 3 best friends working together in our own little bubble and I was comforted knowing that my husband felt like he could really help me and was also able to rest when he needed to.Being a doula would have to be one of the most personal positions someone could ever hold, and our Doula had just the right blend of familiarity and professionalism that this delicate role requires. We are so thankful that we found our Doula”.

Another new mum shares 7 key points

CONSISTENT FACE

As we were booked in at a public hospital under team maternity care, I was not able to see the same midwife for each pre natal appointment. Having our Doula to talk to each week allowed my husband and I to maintain consistency. She knew our history, helped us understand our birth presences, and knowing she'd be in the room with us on the day gave my husband and I peace of mind.

UNDERSTANDING BIRTH PREFERENCES

As our Doula, my husband and I had discussed our birth preferences; she was able to act on these on our behalf on the day. We were not bothered by midwifes asking us countless questions which was a blessing.

CALM ENVIRONMENT

She helped to create an environment that promoted calm. Although our birth was too short to be able to use the tools our Doula had shared with us: i.e. birth visualisation and hypnobirthing music, we had them ready to go. My doula was the key to my positive attitude about birth, and I firmly believe that without her my husband and I would've been a lot more unsettled.

STATE OF MIND

Our Doula focused on my face and my state of mind. Knowing the tools I had available to use during birth, allowed the midwife to focus solely on my physical state. A midwife has such a large task of calming down the mum & dad, plus working through all the physical aspects of birth- they were very thankful (as was I) to have our Doula there to keep me calm!

HELPING HUBBY

She was able to apply physical pressure where it was needed, mainly on the drive to the hospital, which my husband was very thankful for as we nearly had the baby in the car!! Our Doula also directed my husband of how and where to massage, which meant he felt he was applying the best technique for pain management. He didn't feel lost or unsure how to help me as our doula was there to guide us. My husband was able to focus on looking into my eyes, and on the baby. This was a special moment for us that may not have been possible without a doula. My husband was very thankful to have a Doula in the room with us.

WORKING WITH THE MIDWIFE

Our Doula and the midwife worked so well together, it was like a well oiled machine! We felt very lucky to have the medical and physical support needed for a safe arrival of our baby.We had a few complications with the placenta, and My Doula explained everything that was happening. The midwife was focussing on her role, and did not have to attend to our emotional needs that a first time mum & dad go through post birth.

GETTING THE WORD OUT THERE

We were originally unaware of what a Doula was, but are very thankful our friend made the suggestion. Now that we know who they are and what they're about, we want to shout out how wonderful they are from the rooftops! A special type of person has the skills to be a doula. Their job is to enter the most personal of spaces with, and to make them feel comfortable enough to experience the wonder of childbirth. Feeling reassured and 'calm' through the birth is not something first time mum & dad's would usually associate with birth (especially the first one) but that's exactly what we had and we have our Doula to thank for that. We are pretty relaxed people, and were not fearful of the birth before we chose our Doula, but she gave us the tools and the reassurance that we were going to have a calm birth and a happy healthy, relaxed baby- all naturally! I couldn't think of a more positive situation for my husband and I. Knowing we would see our doula postnatally made our whole experience so much more positive. Our doula will be at our next birth and will be friend of my husband, myself and our baby/babies for life”I encourage you to enlist the support of a Doula, talk to your midwives and your medical professionals about how they feel about working with Doulas too And I hope that you all experience a positive and empowering birth and have a beautiful birth story to share with your friends family and the next generation.

We’ve all seen them, those ‘bloody pretentious’ parents driving around with a huge yellow sign on their rear windows… BABY ON BAORD!

Do they really think that sign will make anyone slow down…? Is there baby really more important than anyone else?

Well here’s the thing, you’re reading it all wrong….

You see I have 2 little girls and yup I had one on my window saying, Bébé à Bord! More or less pretentious in French I don’t know, anyway this is how I see it…

It’s warning to everyone else ….

Have you ever driven a car with a newborn, child or children ‘on board’?.…I have, picture this….

Screaming baby/child

Place tiny blissful, adorable infant in ‘torture chair’ 3,2,1… screaming! Not just a little protest but a scream like no other. This noise would continue the entire time I drove with her on any length trip. Oh except the trip home from the hospital – that one she slept all the way home ah my beautiful perfect baby …

So I’m driving and I see the lights change to Amber…. Noooo I leg it literally, I have the focus of a formula 1 driver. The stopping would cause said creature to kick it up a notch to a sound that no other human has made before her (surely..?) so squeeze though the amber lights I would.

Get my drift…? It’s a warning to the outside world that the driver of this vehicle is dealing with all manner of distracting situations inside the car, approach with caution!

I remember doing a 4 hour drive to the snow fields with my husband and our 2 babies. Our then 2yr old with a tendency to vomit and our 4month old screamer (yes I wanted to capture a beautiful family day out with our tiny bundles in their snow suits… another story for another day)

Anyway our little screamer screamed the whole way there and the whole way home… actually I lie she fell asleep about 20minutes before we got home. At one point I moved from the front seat to the back seat desperately trying to console her, I was leaning over her, forcing my chest as close to her face as possible desperately trying to stretch my swollen breastfeeding boob into her mouth to feed her – oh how I wished for just one day to have super long boobies! “Why aren’t they longer?” I seriously yelled this in sheer frustration!

Vomiting baby:

Driving to the shopping centre with my vomiting baby was no fun either, my priority should have been driving safely, indicating with enough notice to all surrounding vehicles and perhaps even taking the time to be courteous, but Oh No, … my, sweet, quiet precious little girl would go pale and then she’d just vomit, e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e!. I’d cover her in vomit catching towels, but it never really worked, I’d be reaching back trying to make sure she wasn’t choking on her vomit whilst driving with my knees and pulling over maybe remembering to indicate, most times I’d just flick the hazards lights on, Ha! it makes me laugh now but at the time it was just awful.

The hungry child

The phase I’m in at the moment is the ‘I’m hungry / thirsty child’.

Just the other day I found myself doing this: … the drive back from swimming opening drink bottle, passing over to the back seat, then ‘vomiting’ child drops drink bottle, me reaching now onto the back floor area, straining. Good, got it, re pass it back, screaming child (who no longer screams) is hungry, drops toy starts winging I reach over the other side blindly waving my hand along the floor trying to pick up small insignificant all of a sudden most important toy ever toy! Flick it with my finger somehow and manage to grab it and finally pass it to her. Grab muesli bar unwrap it pass it back ‘they’ want to show me something. “I can’t I’m driving” I say…

“But mummy look, please?”,

“No I’m driving”

“But muuuummmmyyyy”

Argh! So I quickly look back vomiting child (who still sometimes vomits) shows me a miniscule scratch on her arm (sigh!) “Mummy take this wrapper please”… “Mummy I finished with my water”… “Mummy I want the other toy”… “Mummy did you know…..” ahhhhhhh! I’m about to lose my mind.

SO, the next time you see a wee little yellow sign on a rear window, take a moment, keep a safe breaking distance and give a thought to the woman behind the wheel… is she sleep deprived? Is she desperately trying to keep a baby awake that’s about to fall asleep and throw the entire nights plans out the window? Is she sitting in peace and quiet wondering if her baby has somehow suffocated on something and now panicking that she can’t hear her baby or is she wincing at the ear piercing squeals from her perfect little bundle…..?

Baby on bard.... it's a warning people :)

Was this little discussion ‘ womb memory…?

This story begins a while ago, in New Jersey USA 2008 during my Doula course, and before I'd had my first birth experience.

I was sitting in a circle of women in NJ listening to my then Doula Teacher talk about her younger children having memories of being in the womb and of being born. I honestly quaffed at the idea - ridiculous I thought, impossible.... how could this be. But I listened and found myself intrigued by the notion. Another woman in our circle had a 2 year old daughter at home and said she'd ask her if she 'remembered'. She was guided by our Teacher in regards to the line of questioning and told to ask open ended questions, such as do you remember being in Mummy's tummy...what was it like in there....what was around you...could you see anything...here anything etc.. So the next morning we all gather and begin chatting when the Mum with the 2 year old daughter says her little girl just pulled faces and blew raspberries at her when asked about being in her tummy. She thought perhaps she was simply too tired to have a chat. So the following day she tried again and this is what happened... 'I asked my daughter at bed time if she remembered being inside my tummy.....I asked her while she was on her bed just after story time, she was relaxed and quiet and concentrating on what I was saying, she then said “Oh Yes - I had to do this to come out Mummy it was really hard”. Her 2yr old daughter then proceeded to lay on her back with her head hanging off the mattress she twisted off the side of the bed mimicking the movements she perhaps would have made down the birth canal."

I had goose bumps all over my arms listening to this and was excited by the idea that one day I would perhaps have the opportunity to ask my future children, if they ‘remembered’. At the time of doing my course I was in the 1st trimester of my 1st pregnancy, when I booked in to doing my course I wasn’t aware that I was pregnant J

Fast-forward 4 years and here I was in my dining room back in Melbourne Australia listening to my daughters discuss what they saw in my tummy....

I prompted the topic, to my girls (Kamryn 4½ yrs & Talia 2 ½ yrs old at the time) “Do you remember being in mummy’s tummy?”

“Talia looks up at me and says, Um there was a plant in there”

Kamryn interrupts, “No it was a big flower”

“Oh yeah there was a big plant and flower” says Talia excitedly,

“I remember being all squished up like a ‘cat ball’, I had to move out of the way from the big flower” Kamryn explains in more detail her being curled up and sharing the space with the ‘flower’ “I could also hear a drumming like this” Kamryn then proceeds to bang the table in a specific rhythm.

Talia was showing me with her arms in the air how big this flower was to her and where it was, I was so amazed. I really believed they were describing their placentas.

I scramble for pen and paper to scribble down what they’re saying word for word. I was so overly excited by what I was hearing and seeing that the girls notice and try to explain more and more to me….I believe at this point that my 2 ½ year old is really remembering what she experienced but perhaps my 4 ½ year old is just trying to please me, beautiful kind little girl that she is.

However they continue to chat with one another and me …

Recalling “I wasn’t close enough to the thing that gives us food in your tummy so I just had to wait until I ‘got borned’ I ask Kamryn to explain what she means and how she ate in my tummy.

“I didn’t eat I just had to wait until I got out to have your milk”.

“How did you know you needed to have my milk?”

“I was just a really clever baby to be born Mummy “

I loved this discussion with my girls and will cherish their animated little faces as they finally have the chance to communicate a memory with me. They were so proud to be ‘teaching’ me something I knew nothing about and said they were really clever that they remembered and I didn’t!

I encourage you all to keep the discussion open with your children, continue to ask if they remember. Just let the conversation flow when they’re ready to articulate … perhaps your children will have something to share, perhaps not.

Wouldn’t it be lovely though if your children did have a womb memory and you gave them the opportunity to share it with you ….?